Faery Dust

The big day is almost here. Most of my friends are graduating on Wednesday... It's farewell guys :( I feel happy for you guys though :) It must be the day that everyone is looking forward to. Mine's just a semester away.. Looking forward to it, yet at the same time, wishing that time could just stop for a moment so that I could have more time to socialize, and study. Just the thought of graduating somehow makes me feel worried and lost. Unsure of what path to take after I graduate. I'd be 21 years old then.. I should also be finding a lifetime partner.. which...... so far.... isn't going too well.. Sigh.. On the side note, I just finished watching a really nice chinese drama last night. It is called 'Bu Bu Jing Xin'. Recommended!!

Fushigi Yuugi Final Episode (the final eps, the best one of all) Fushigi Yuugi, is still the best anime anyone can ever create!!! After watching it for a couple of times, I'm still amazed by the storyline and the ending. It's a mixture of romance, comedy, friendship and kinship. It thought me a few things on 'love'. That if two people are really madly and deeply in love, no matter what happens, they will find a way to be together. I know it's really bad to get too caught up in an anime. But I really wonder if there is such a real guy like Tamahome,  who is willing to do EVERYTHING and ANYTHING to protect the love of his life and to be together with her..  Sigh, if only.........

The vacation trip is finally fixed. Off to Sydney on 29th November and to Gold Coast on 1st December, then back to Melbourne on 4th December. Gonna be a very packed trip but hopefully we'd be able to do everything that has been planned.. And hopefully everything would be alright. Amen.

Yet again, feeling so disappointed and sad. It comes down to this saying again, 'high expectations lead to disappointments'.. Does it occur that somehow sometimes, it is not a matter of how high our expectations of someone are but more about how much they change, how different they act towards and around you. I know that life is all about changes. Every single person on earth changes each day, whether noticed or not.. But people don't just change from one extreme end to another!

Time flies. Had my 3 exam papers in that 3 consecutive days.. And now I'm just left with 1 exam which falls on 15th November. I'm still worried for my results.. Especially for MPI. I need to get at least a Pass in order for me to take another core unit and graduate in September 2013.. Not confident that I'd get through this semester but God, please help me.. Sigh.. Spent the past few days shopping & watching a Korean drama '49 Days'. Suddenly got me thinking.... Is our lives really bounded by fate? When the time really comes, can we actually avoid it? When death approach us, can we still stand a chance to turn back and fight our way through just to live for one more day? Nothing in the world is scarier than death. It is weird how people know that their lives are very vulnerable and may just end at any moment but yet still not living their lives to the fullest and pursuing what they want in life and not what they need . Some people thinks that...

Life is beautiful in a way or another.. We might not realise it but it is true. Our eyes captures these moments but our head and mind are too occupied with life problems that we neglect and ignore what lies ahead of us..

The roads may get too rough and tough at times.. But you'd stillhave to face it and go through it anyway. You might fall one day. But you'd still have to learn how to stand up on your feet without having anyone else to give you a helping hand, anyway. Rides may get bumpy at times. Like how roller coaster has its ups and downs. Life......ain't easy.... We gotta grow up and groom ourselves as the time goes by, We gotta make mistakes and be better than the person we were back then, We gotta earn priceless possessions.. We gotta define our own life and live the life we want. Cos life is short and you only get to live it once.

It's daylight savings in Melbourne now - 4 hours away from Jakarta's time, 3 hours away from Singapore's. It's a really dark, gloomy and cold Saturday. All I ever feel like doing is......nothing but sleep. Lots of things running through my mind every single day. Sigh, I have no idea why.. But this semester was supposed to be a very fun one. I planned to dedicate equal time to social and study life. However, this semester turns out to be full of shit. Problems keep coming, one after another. Endless. Be it studies, or other non-studies related matters.. Still shit. Can't believe this semester is coming to an end. Feeling glad but at the same time, very worried. Exams are around the corner.. My soul couldn't rest in peace at nights. My brain couldn't rest well. Weird dreams. I guess I'm just a person carrying too much of a burden. I hope everything would turn better tomorrow. I hope all the shit that happened during this semester, c...

A not-for-profit organization (for adventure therapy camps) - Purple Soup (our client for M.P.I. major assignment) My teammates; I wouldn't have survived this major assignment without them *insert as many hearts* I can't actually believe that our MPI presentation would go so smoothly! I'd say that the credits goes to my team members who have been committing their time and effort to this major assignment! And also God, thanks for listening to my prayers and answering them!!! It makes every single hard work counts, and I'm SO freaking glad that our hard work has been paid off!!!! I'd never expect Erica (chief examiner) to give such a huge compliment to our group! Her compliments kept running through my mind, and it makes me smile widely each time I thought of it. "For all the years that I've been in Monash University, I've never seen such great critical success factors ever!!! You guys nailed it!!!!" Also great compliments from Tim...

Sincerely and faithfully hoping that my Marketing Planning & Implementation presentation would go well on 2nd of October, later, at 1:45-3:45pm.... God, please bless us!

Tonight, is the very first time witnessing and hearing (ce) Christine screaming her lungs out in front of the lift on the 6th storey. I think I pressed the 'scream' button. So hilarious!

It's nice to take a long walk by yourself when your head's full of thoughts and your heart's so heavy that you just wish you could do something crazy in the most random place. It's been long since I last felt that way...Yesterday was the first, in Melbourne. I had so many things on my mind, and I just wish those things didn't have to happen. It is not exactly a big matter to any other people but it is big enough of a matter to me. I am the type of girl who wants a win-win solution for both parties. I am the type of girl who doesn't mind getting hurt in exchange for others' happiness. I don't like to see people being hurt because of me. Cos I'd hate myself even more. That's what makes it really hard for me to deal with rejections. I am the reason.

Is this love or lust? :/

Be Your Everything by Boys Like Girls  The song above suits my current mood and it best explains my feeling for him. I am fighting with my own mind each day. Part of me says that he might be the one; don't stop believing and just wait. Another part of me says that I might be thinking too much; he's just treating me like his sister. Which is real?  I am trying so hard to hold back my feelings for him so I would not get too hurt if it turns out that the latter's right. I hope God would listen to my prayers and do something bout it! :')  

I feel bad :(

Happy 20th Birthday,  to  Myself!!!! I am finally 20, note the '2' instead of '1'. It doesn't mean anything to many people but it sure does mean something to me. It means that I am growing older, and the people around me are growing older as well. It's not exactly a good thing because that would mean that we are going to have lesser time to spend together, cos when people grow old and reach the last stage of life, it's what everyone faces - death. It is inevitable and it's a part of life but I just can't accept it. When it happens, I am going to experience a serious depression. Anyway ........... I have my own set of wishlist for my 20th year. I wanna be more independent. I wanna be able to rely on no one else but myself. I wanna be able to make wise decisions on my own. I wanna have someone I can put my trust and love on. I wanna have a wide smile on my face every single day. I wanna succeed in life's challen...

Happy Birthday, my cousin, sister, best friend, soulmate,  & the other half of me, The Khoen Sie Christine!! Firstly, I hope that you'd always be blessed with an abundance of happiness, mountains of wealth, excellent health and youthful spirit. You may be 1 year older but don't forget, you're still young at heart as long as you keep smiling and be yourself :) May you find the man of your life soon, and if he ever make you cry, I make sure I'd turn into a devil and make him cry twice as much. Secondly, I thank you for the endless support that you've been giving me. Thank you for being by my side every single time. Thank you for chasing away those grey clouds and bringing me sunshine everyday. Thank you for making my day, everyday. Thank you for every single moments that we've spent and will spend. Those times, will never be forgotten forever. Words can never fully express how grateful and thankful I am to have my path crossed yours. And I hope...

Did I do anything wrong to you? Why the sudden cold replies?

Oh God, Give me the strength to overcome every obstacles in my life. Give me faith to believe in myself. Give me confidence to pursue my dreams. Give me the wisdom to make decisions of my own. Give me happiness and love so I can do the same for others. Oh God, Please stay by my side so that you can catch me when I fall. Please be next to me so that I can cry on your shoulder if I ever need to. Please be in front of me so that you can guide me through to the light. Please be within me so that I can give others the blessings that you gave me.

This is the feeling I've never want to feel. I gotta learn how to put things aside, and be focus on my own studies. I may be the foolish one, the one who's thinking too much and expecting something from someone else. It should really stop now.

Have I told you lately that I love you? It's been a really torturing semester. All I ever do each day, is study, and study, and study. This is my first time being such a geek. And, there's one thing for sure, I miss my old life. I miss my social life. I miss those carefree days. I'm starting to feel weak again. If anyone asks what's my weakness, I'd say it's 'love'. It's always so easy to fall in love with someone, and yet so hard to let it go. Holding back my own feelings for someone is equally painful, and it can be so tiring. It sucks. I want to fall in love. I want to love and be loved. I want to make sweet and memorable memories with someone I love. But standing in between a 'best friend' and 'boyfriend' status and not being able to differentiate whether this is just me or the both of us, it's really torturing the hell out of me. Yet at one point, I don't want to clarify and sort it out with him cos it...

Last night in Melbourne My Family Best Tutor Ever I have always felt so excited to leave Melbourne cos I can reunite with my family back home. This time round, somehow, I feel different. It may be because I am starting to like it here. This semester is very much different from previous semester. I made new friends.. Friends that made me feel so welcomed.. Friends that are family in my eyes. <3 Met a very nice tutor that helps a lot for my Japanese.. To be continued.... (Suddenly no mood)

Those who read my posts, can you leave a comment and your name please? I'm just curious who are the people who read my blog. If you don't have any google account, just tick 'anonymous' but leave your name in the comment box :) XOXO

I have no say in it. Maybe that's why I decided to type it here instead. It is ridiculous how irresponsible  and selfish you really are. It gets on my nerve when someone really doesn't know how to appreciate others' work. I don't know what to do or say cos you're you. Stubborn, strong-headed, selfish, and honestly, there are times when I get so fed up that I don't even feel like talking to you anymore. Don't forget that Karma Exists ....

I was reading "Bittersweet Romance", a blog that used to be public but was set to private due to some personal reason. And I realize something.... A change . I was so immature. Very naive. Thinking that my life was all about me. Selfish, in a way. I've grown, a lot. Been through thick and thins, regardless of whether I was alone or with someone else.

8th & 9th May 2012. Love. David Choi. On 8th May, I went for David Choi Concert in Melbourne and it was fun, entertaining, superb, and simply awesome! I don't know why each time I meet David Choi, it feels like I am falling in love all over again. I feel my heart beating twice as fast, hands turning cold, legs turning soft and my voice seems to be fading away... I have a lot of things on my mind that I'd like to share with him but we never had a chance to sit and take our own time to talk as long as we want to. I wish we could hang out just as friends do. Well I guess that's just my wishful thinking. It would never happen. Ah well, on the side note, the concert in Melbourne turned out to be different from the ones he did in Jakarta last year. This time round, he had an Australian band working with him; one's a bassist, another's a drummer. I prefer him performing solo though. It seems more original and more 'him'. I mean, that's how he does t...

  Happy 20th Birthday, Bestie ♥ Here's a wish for happiness and many dreams come true Not only on your special day but always, all life through! May you always be happy, healthy and successful! Hope you would forever have the determination to pursue your goals in life.  May you live life to the very best on your special day today, get drunk,  be merry and dance the night away. I would also love to take this chance to thank you,  once again,  for being such an awesome best friend. You mean a lot to me and the memories that we’ve had will never be forgotten. What makes you my #1 best friend? The fact that you are always there for me when I am having a hard time, when you convert my sorrows into joys,  fears into hope,  and questions into answers. You always have the ability to give me joy, strength, hope and courage. No one can ever replace you in my life.  I know I always say the same thing over and over...

Before 5th May ends, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY BELOVED GRANDMA ♥ May you be happier, healthier, luckier, wealthier than you ever were year(s) ago. May God always be there to guide and protect you in hard times. May we always be your angels who will always be there for you,  in both good and bad times. May you be less cranky, more down-to-earth, & more understanding.  May you feel more grateful, thankful and fortunate to have what you already have, and not look at what you don't possess.  Amen.  I feel that I'm not a good grandchild cos this year, I forgot totally about your birthday. I swear, I didn't mean it. I've always remembered your birthday but today, I messed it up. I've made you disappointed, sad, and it hurts me. Listening to your sad voice just made me hate myself.  I really wish I could rewind the time just so that I can wake up earlier,  text you and call you to wish you a very Happy Birthday. I wish I could...

There's finally an internet connection in my house! Woohooooo!! I can skype with anyone now!!! I guess this means that there is an additional distraction at home :) PS. Guess whuuuttttt, I'm in week 7 now. 6 weeks to SWOT VAC. Approx. a month away from HOLIDAY!

It's been ages.... I have lived for approximately 19 years and 7 months and 2 weeks now. I have a maid who has worked for my family for approx. 25 years and if she wasn't diagnosed with what they call brain cancer, I am pretty sure that she would still be working for my family. And I too, wouldn't have to write this post. I've came across with many different maids in my life but they have never touched my life in ways that they could. This one's.....very different from the rest.. She's not boastful, very kind, thoughtful, nice, loyal and also a talkative and cheerful person. She has seen me growing up from a toodler to a teenager and now, almost a young adult. I, too, have seen her growing older, from a woman who has black, long and thick hair to a woman whose hair is falling and you could actually spot more white hairs and black ones. She has been the one waking up earlier than any of us, to wake us up for school and ensure that we weren't late ...

It's the first week of a brand new semester. You won't wanna know what I did for the first few days here. Irregular and small meals and all I ever do was cry, cry and cry. Well, now I feel a little better. But still struggling with adapting to the environment here.... If you guys happen to be in Melbourne too, call me out.

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Happy New Year 2012!!! 2011 had been a bumpy ride. Lots of ups and downs. Got myself to settle down in a new country. Met my idols, got their signatures, and had awesome chat. A friend turned her back on me, and so did I. Well, at least now I know who are my real friends. May 2012 be a better year than the previous years. Make a dream, live your dream and make it happen. Cheers to a whole brand new year :)