Faery Dust

Happy 20th Birthday,  to  Myself!!!! I am finally 20, note the '2' instead of '1'. It doesn't mean anything to many people but it sure does mean something to me. It means that I am growing older, and the people around me are growing older as well. It's not exactly a good thing because that would mean that we are going to have lesser time to spend together, cos when people grow old and reach the last stage of life, it's what everyone faces - death. It is inevitable and it's a part of life but I just can't accept it. When it happens, I am going to experience a serious depression. Anyway ........... I have my own set of wishlist for my 20th year. I wanna be more independent. I wanna be able to rely on no one else but myself. I wanna be able to make wise decisions on my own. I wanna have someone I can put my trust and love on. I wanna have a wide smile on my face every single day. I wanna succeed in life's challen...

Happy Birthday, my cousin, sister, best friend, soulmate,  & the other half of me, The Khoen Sie Christine!! Firstly, I hope that you'd always be blessed with an abundance of happiness, mountains of wealth, excellent health and youthful spirit. You may be 1 year older but don't forget, you're still young at heart as long as you keep smiling and be yourself :) May you find the man of your life soon, and if he ever make you cry, I make sure I'd turn into a devil and make him cry twice as much. Secondly, I thank you for the endless support that you've been giving me. Thank you for being by my side every single time. Thank you for chasing away those grey clouds and bringing me sunshine everyday. Thank you for making my day, everyday. Thank you for every single moments that we've spent and will spend. Those times, will never be forgotten forever. Words can never fully express how grateful and thankful I am to have my path crossed yours. And I hope...

Did I do anything wrong to you? Why the sudden cold replies?

Oh God, Give me the strength to overcome every obstacles in my life. Give me faith to believe in myself. Give me confidence to pursue my dreams. Give me the wisdom to make decisions of my own. Give me happiness and love so I can do the same for others. Oh God, Please stay by my side so that you can catch me when I fall. Please be next to me so that I can cry on your shoulder if I ever need to. Please be in front of me so that you can guide me through to the light. Please be within me so that I can give others the blessings that you gave me.

This is the feeling I've never want to feel. I gotta learn how to put things aside, and be focus on my own studies. I may be the foolish one, the one who's thinking too much and expecting something from someone else. It should really stop now.

Have I told you lately that I love you? It's been a really torturing semester. All I ever do each day, is study, and study, and study. This is my first time being such a geek. And, there's one thing for sure, I miss my old life. I miss my social life. I miss those carefree days. I'm starting to feel weak again. If anyone asks what's my weakness, I'd say it's 'love'. It's always so easy to fall in love with someone, and yet so hard to let it go. Holding back my own feelings for someone is equally painful, and it can be so tiring. It sucks. I want to fall in love. I want to love and be loved. I want to make sweet and memorable memories with someone I love. But standing in between a 'best friend' and 'boyfriend' status and not being able to differentiate whether this is just me or the both of us, it's really torturing the hell out of me. Yet at one point, I don't want to clarify and sort it out with him cos it...