Skip to main content
I didn't expect this year to be tougher than the last.
Then again, who said it was gonna be any easier.

There are times when I really feel so hopeless in everything I do.
The decisions I make seems to be wrong all the time.
Even my whole life seems so wrong!

Maybe the core problem is relationship.
Maybe it is family.
Maybe it is money.
Maybe it is career.

Guess I can say that all of them are my problem.
I can't choose my own happiness. Maybe because others think I'm still too naive. Well yeah maybe I still am.. I can't go along with the happiness I wanted. I can't fight for the man I love. Neither does he want to fight for me.
I can't get my freedom. Maybe because I'm the youngest in my family. I'm being doted the most, being protected from the bad.
I can't do shit with the money I have. Though I don't shop at all, money seems to be depleting.
I can't even excel in my work, I'm lost in direction, I'm just walking because they told me to. Not because I wanted to.

Everyone has a goal in mind.
Mine's simple. And realistic too.
I'd like to have the simplest life anyone can ever live with.

Finding a suitable job with reasonable pay.
Finding the man I truly love to love me wholeheartedly.
Families approval of our relationship.
Having a happy family of my own.
Growing old with the man of my life and my kids.

Is happiness too much to ask for?
Do I really have to go thru so much pain before I can finally settle down with the simplicity and grace of life?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"i don’t think it’s time that heals hearts, but distance from the person you were when you loved." It takes so much courage to fall in love. So much risk to trust someone you barely knew. One moment feeling so sure that he's the one who will always be there for you till the end of time. Then the next, feeling all crushed up because you realized that life is unfair and somehow, disappointments and anxiety keeps hitting in your face. I never thought distance could be a problem. The feeling of insecurity.
It's not that I believe everything happens for a reason. It’s just that… I just think that some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It’s the universe’s way of providing contrast, you know? There have to be a few holes in the road. It’s how life is. — Sarah Dessen Reminiscing old times as a Studio Ghibli Freak